Tête-à-tête with Mr. Ten Headed

This is an imaginary interview of our dear Ravan (who is waiting for his effigy to BURN) when he met me depressed in one corner of Durga Pooja Pandal, near Lalbaug

Me: So sir, how come the king of rakhshasas seems so depressed on such a festive season.
Even you’re a devotee, why don’t you celebrate. Are you unhappy looking at people? Who are happy inspite of global meltdown?

Well, that a bit but also because of Wednesday, Dasshera when Ravan of Ramayana fame will get bad press once again.

Me: So you are contrarian when it comes to Ram v/s Ravan. Huh?

I think people are taking me in a bad light. Look at me. I’m a gr8 scholar of Vedas, ascetic disciple of Lord Shiva. Play Veena like Joe satriani. I defended my sister Suparnakha insult and I didn’t do anything wrong to Sita in retaliation. Why am I repository of all evils?

Me: Don’t despair yaar, look at other people. You have your temples in Andhra Pradesh, Karnataka where you are worshipped as the favorite disciple of Shiva.

Please don’t have malice for these people. And anyways the world is already in topsy turvy. Tell me anything, I would buy for you.

He thinks …… and thinks…… (He’s smart , not like JOEY TRIBBIANI)

I want RMBS

Me: (astonished) what is RMBS (wondering is some acronym of some new supermodel this devil wants to kidnap)

RMBS a.k.a residential mortgaged bank securities. You can buy ABS a.k.a Asset backed securities or CDOs a.k.a Collateralized debt obligations or some high graded bond of some Investment banks in America

Me : Why on earth do you want these stuffs??

Haven’t you been reading papers these American and European banks have run into turmoil due to these fancy investment instruments? People burn my effigies and light up Firecracker, Now play with these bombs. BLOODY LIVE BOMBS1

Me: Sorry, I won’t allow you to buy these Hazardous products. Tell me something else.

OK, in that case buy me a Bank.

Me: (Laughs) you think I’m made of money? What will you do with a bank……Have you ever worked with any?

That’s not an issue. Go to US central bank, ask them for Millions of dollars (precisely round 700…the senate is used to this figure.) They will give it to you. Simple. And I can certainly run a bank better than these jokers who make the banks BANKRUPT.

Me: And how do you repay the loans?

That’s the beauty of it. You owe someone thousand dollars, it’s your problem.
If you owe some billion dollar , it’s theirs.
And when you are in some APOCALYPTIC crisis, UNCLE SAM always looks after you.
In a problem……share your losses……if not own your profits.